hollywood schmollywood

i hate the oscars. the entire ridiculous production is just another way for celebrities to parade around and pump themselves up in front of cameras and an overly adoring american television audience. i have a serious problem with the growth of celebrity worship in our culture, but that's an entirely different argument.


unfortunately, as much as i despise them, i watch the oscars every year in the vain hope that this will finally be the year that they break out and blow my mind...and every year i am disappointed. it's become so predictable that it has reached the point where i can call what they are going to wear:

ladies: a versace dress, cartier or h. stern jewels and a clutch by someone like judith leiber or swarovski.
guys: armani suit.


hold on, you are telling me that those are the ONLY designers willing to let you borrow things for the BIGGEST fashion night in hollywood? and you're telling me that you're OK with that?? come on kids, there are hundreds of thousands of designers out there, good designers, who would chop off their own extremities in order to dress one of you for such an occasion. reach outside the bubble of ralph lauren and chanel for one year, i dare you! it's so disheartening to see a world of extremely talented people and for some reason only a few are continued to be relied on, and it's not even as if those old standbys are that amazing. what about some lanvin? or nina ricci? i would love to see one of you girls strut down that carpet in an alexander mcqueen getup or a liquid silver haider ackerman gown, even dolce and gabbana had some amazing spring pieces i would like to have seen. you have access to absolutely everything in the world and a night tailor made for you to wear the most stunning pieces that world has to offer, i just don't understand why you keep letting me down...





and in the spirit of it all, i will again hope that next year is better.



well...at lease heidi klum knows what's up.
heidi klum in custom john galliano:



the good ones:

marion cotillard in gaultier paris haute couture



cameron diaz in christian dior:





the predictable ones:

katherine heigl in escada:


hillary swank in versace:



jennifer garner in oscar de la renta:



amy adams in proenza schouler:







the wtf ones:

laura linney:
are you going to prom?




jennifer hudson:
this makes my boobs hurt just looking at it.



calista flockhart:
apparently just got out of the shower.
>


rebecca miller:
i just don't know...






not all that great, but at least they weren't boring ones:

cate blanchett in dries van noten:



tilda swinton in lanvin:



diablo cody in christian dior:





and dear god,
in my old age please let me be something like helen mirren.
she just keeps getting more stunning with age: